I don't know since when, I stopped laughing.
I really didn't realise it if my team leader never tell me about it. He started to tell me a lot of so called "theories". At 1st I was alright, but just don't know how, my face started to get red, my eyes are blurring. I cried.. He asked me why? I really don't know how to answer to this question. I just shook my head hardly, and said, nothing. He repeated the question quite a few times, but I still didn't manage to answer to his question. So, he just explained a lot of things, which I don't really remember now, but I do understand 1 thing, he said:" 没学行，就唔好学走 ；没学走，就唔好先学飞~" He said, I won't be crying if I'm not feeling stress. But I really don't know how "stress" is like, but I realised that I'm feeling stress is that when I couldn't sleep well at night, I started to wake up more frequently at night, like last time when I studied CAL, studied Chemistry. I knew, this is caused by the stresses in me.
Yesterday morning, right after team briefing, he started asked me:" Amanda, are you okay? Today your target is not to get a sale, you just need to present, no need to be stressed, alright? " Omgosh, I lost my control once again, he realised it, and he talk to the teammates :" Saya tak boleh tengok muka dia lagi lah, dia sudah nak nangis ni!" Haha... Once he finished talking, I laughed and started crying~ I really don't know what the hell happened to me~ Hahahaa~ After that, of course it's a long long story... What can I say is, I cried about 6-7 times last 2 days..
My teammate, Oscar keep asking me whether or not to prepare a resign letter for me. Hahaha~ LOLX... For my friends, who understand me really well, I won't give up that easily. Since before I got the call from Jia Yee, who was HR for my company, I already understand very well that this job is not easy. I stepped out my 1st step, I won't stop unless I got what I want. I never ever think before I want to resign. I'm just feeling angry that I couldn't contribute to my team when my teammates are working hard. I'm just feeling angry that I made more trouble to my team leader. What they told me, it just touched me a lot.
I'm trying to get rid of the bad mood, looking for the energetic and smiling Amanda. Haha.. My team leader gave me a nickname, called LadyGuard baby~ Lolx~ He said because I cried too much. Hahah~ There is a lot funny things happened since I joined the team, I love my team, all my teammates. They gave me a new life, they taught me a lot new stuffs. I hope I can stay in the team with them forever, at least until, if one day, LadyGuard is dismissed. I will do better next Monday!
Cheer up, shin! ^^
